If you feel uncomfortable to read it's probably most of the writings I did on this it's personal...
I Can't Accepting Myself The Way I Am; I hate my body so much I don't know but it doesn't fit me well anymore or something is missing of part of me I feel like a pile of shit I just wanna to show my parents what am I capable of... I just wanna do something that contribute to the world.
Instagram; I start using instagram after these couple few months, I notice that the people that my following start to decrease for no reason? it's not that personal to be but it's an mainstream really famous influencer but apparently my following decrease (?) I don't even remember the name I feel sad now, because they blocked me(?) I really hope that they don't blocked me or something I hate that when it happens. :(
I Met My Blessed Again; I've learn my mistake that past but I did it again without excitation or I am fully aware what I was doing but the guy messages it back, I was really nervous because I've blocked all the people who knew me better I start messaging it back but I was so nervous at the time. but the guy didn't changed at all he still the same person that I know before, and we start messaging really fast and it was fun I have a lot of question I wanna to answer but I didn't told them even half of it, we kept messaging on that old group we created and remember how fun, how happy I was, thank you.
I Hate Everything & Myself; I just hate what did in the past I was trying so hard to be someone else but ended up I did have a lot friends but I was faking it and they were also fake and I hate when I were dealt the feeling at that time and when I didn't speak up to my other irl friends that they were meant to me... after that they start leaving and I start hating myself even more, if I were telling them the truth. I wonder how feel they gonna start thinking of me like i'm weird or they just don't understand. I love the attention back then but it's hurts so much and I don't wanna have that many friends at the first place.